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Archive for the ‘Heart matters’ Category

      Its 6 in the evening, now here in Sohar.I am in my OPD, seeing patients and waiting for the hours, to go by to bring in 2012. New Years Eve hs turned out, much different…..surprisingly good. For starters, I hve Steph with me. I couldn’t have imagined, being alone. Whats so special or intriguing about this day? Is it the fact that the whole world, is celebrating this day universally, walking past their worries?

         The next morning, is going to be as usual as everyday.Its gona be the same sunrise, the same birds chirping, the same kitchen chores.Why does it bring a new hope into our lives? Most of us look at it, as a perfect time to make new resolutions.We see it as one more opportunity, to change our lives for good.

       Whats important, is to have this same vigour, hope, and goodwill, throughout the year. I am going to look ahead towards the next year, with anticipation as to what surprises it has for me…..

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2 weeks more to 2012…

The countdown begins. Another year will go by …just 2 weeks more to go. Plenty of things scheduled, before the year finally ends.There’s Christmas, my wedding anniversary. Definitely the mood is all upbeat, because Steph is gona be here, in another few days. Can’t imagine, having to go through my anniversary, without him around.

    So how was 2011 for me? Full of surprises, I should say. A blend of good and bad events, times to be happy and sad about, disappointments and hope..so on and so forth. Deciding to move abroad, new place, new job,starting all over again…took a lot of self motivation to get there.

   Being away from family, and the excitement of meeting them again after long breaks. Short trips, back home, just to see my hubby. I think, I will qualify for a Oman Air frequent flier card, pretty soon. Seriously, happen to see the same cabin crew every time I fly. Happy that my career is going up the graph,…..sad that it took me away from home.Trying to learn a new language.

   One thing, which is definitely worth mentioning is my relationship with Steph. They say, distance makes the heart go fonder…yes it does. It was always good, but its been more appreciating, understanding, valued, revived and above all loved than ever before. Its as if, we have gone back to our courtship days.

   Will definitely miss the Mumbai year end frolic…the crowd, the craze, the noisy fireworks, people gearing up for new year parties.

    Somethings never change, so is my weight….sometimes I wonder whether the scale has got stuck. Hope to change that next year….Steph is gona have a hearty laugh, if he reads this statemen

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Over a period of time, couples tend to develop an eerie silence between them.on the dinner table, while watching television, stuck in the traffic jam in the car. They just don’t have  topic to converse on. Considering, that they were the same two individuals, who used to spend hours on the cellphone years ago.

     Communication is very essential to maintain the essence of a relationship. Most of the time we presume, that our partners know what we want,…..what to blurt out to end an arguement,….they should know what we feel,..what we go through,…how bad it hurts….  so on & so forth. This is possible, provided we end up marrying a face reader.

    Tell each other what you really mean or want in the rightly chosen words, instead of presuming that they would already know that. Being in a relationship, is a process of learning and knowing each other, that never ends. There is no other person who would know it better than me. Steph & I knew each other for 15 long years, before we got married. We still are learning new aspects about each other, cos every day is different.

   Communication always has to be a two way process, instead of one person blabbering non-stop while the other person is practically filtering, what you are saying.You have to cultivate the habit of listening.There is a difference, between hearing and listening. Don’t interrupt. Let the person finish. It only shows that you respect that person’s opinion…which is what you need to give each other. You need to feel  safe, to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened.

  Start communicating, you would be surprised that you could, actually start and end a conversation without playing the blame game. Its not about hours of talking, but may be few minutes in the day , but it can make loads of difference in the way your partner starts thinking about you.

   The best aspect of a relationship is when you realize that ” When I am 50, I have someone,who  would still feel that what I say is important”

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Pop up a question to your friend…What do you want out of life? Out of the huge list that he bores you with, one is definitely …Finding “TRUE” love in life..someone that you can count on, trust & share your life with. No matter, how many times you must have had a heartbreak, you still always have that one flicker of hope in your heart, that may be, may be this time it would work out. You may have a lot of acquaintances in life, but you still want that one person. Why? We don’t want to end up alone. Face it .There is no better justification for it.

      Falling in love feels great. Each and everyone goes through it. Its a different aspect, whether you confess it or no, whether it is reciprocated or no, whether it culminates into something meaningful or no. I may not be able to justify that feeling in words.

    It just feels awesome. Life just attains a new meaning then. Every sunrise brings you the anticipation, of wanting to meet each other. Every sunset brings you the hope, of the new day and you believe it would be even better, than what it was today. This is what a typical Mills N Boons book would tell you.

   This is what actually happens..

    The courtship period is the best part of everyone’s life. A parallel scenario is the post engagement period for a lot of couples. We are the sweetest to each other at that time. We practically drool over each other the…all faults & defects are overlooked ( even the temper tantrums are considered “cho sweet” at that time). We are ready to get Jupiter, Venus…the whole solar system on earth for each other. Candlelit dinners…movies every weekend….Shopping whether SALE or NO SALE. Every day is filled with excitement, new hope, new plans, a very rosy ” Hum Saath Saath Hain” picture that we create for ourselves.

     We are completely oblivious to the truth, or rather it is somewhere around the corner, but we don’t want to acknowledge that, as it ruins the ‘Monaliza painting’ of our future life, that we plan with our partners.Are we that naive? Yes , we are we prove that to ourselves again & again…

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Myriad Of Relationships..

‘ Long Distance Relationships never last’….’Out of Sight, Out of Mind.’…’ We decided to part ways coz we were no longer compatible’ ….thats the opinion that a lot of people hold. So, what is the foundation of relationships now a days. What about the forever & ever fairy tale endings.

     It is not a hidden fact, that gone are the days, when relationships used to survive, the complexities of life for 20-30 years. The life span nowadays, is a year or two the most….it comes with an expiry date. Wedding vows meant a lot to couples in the past , now is the era of prenuptial agreements. Is it that we have more options now…live in, platonic, just friends, contract marriages. Or have we become too involved with, ”What about me…my emotions…my dignity….my identity?…. I don’t need to take all this crap from you”.

      The Romeo-Juliet love story alikes don’t exist anymore. Cyber-cheating or online extra-marital affair is a reality!! Even, with no physical contact the emotional and psychological attachment is many times greater, than in a physical extra-marital affair.

     Where have we gone wrong? In the times where all of us are literate and educated,have we forgotten to educate ourselves in matters of the heart. Trust ,in relationships have become a matter of convenience. Expectations, from our partners have gone so high, that it invariably ends in disappoinments. We have started keeping track & count of the sacrifices & compromises that we make, so that we can bring them up when we argue. Our personal egos have replaced forgiveness.

       God has made everything simple & straight. He wanted man & woman to come together, keep each other company, look after each other, help each other, procreate to make a family, strive together to earn a living. We have left no stone unturned in making it complicated.

    This blog was just a mirror to the life that we all lead today. There is more to come….

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Marriage…

Marriage….

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My Heart Speaks..

My Heart Speaks...

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My Parents..

             

            This is the blog that I have been intending to write since  very long time. But I don’t know where to start and end this . I am 31 years old today. How can you pen down memories of so many years in a few lines. A lot of my friends have become moms today. I ask them “How does it feel to be a Mom?”  These are some of the replies that I got….Its been days since I have slept,..My baby sleeps the whole day and stays awake the whole night,..All that I do is change diapers the whole day,..I start cleaning from one end of the room & by the time I reach another end , it  is all messed up again,..I have to run around the whole house to get her to eat one morsel of food,..She is sick atleast 2 times every month,…We have to plan our day according to the baby’s pattern now,..The baby starts crying at all odd places, in the church, in the shop,….and they just don’t listen. This is just a trailor of the whole picture  that my parents must have gone through.

         One thing that life teaches you as you grow up is you start knowing yourself, your weakness, your strength,..and above all your nature. I know that I am intelligent, smart, outgoing, a successful dr today ,which everybody appreciates…but I am also stubborn,  arrogant, rebellious, moody, blunt, hot tempered…so much that I have said hurtful things to them which only my parents have tolerated and loved me inspite of all of this. You are loved only when you make someone happy all the time, respect them, boost their egos,..there is always an ” IF” involved in your relationships with a lot of people.  But with your parents it is not the same way. 

        I have been brought up in ultimate luxury if I compare myself to my other counterparts. I was  never refused anything….even when it came to choosing my life partner my parents never said no. I was given the best of the education, the best clothes,….. my school bags ,my colour box , even my waterbottles used to be different from others . I should say I was pampered by my father. I still remember him getting me watches n loads and loads of choclates every time he used to come home on his vacation.

        They say marriage changes a relation between a  girl and her parents.But my parents are still very supportive of me.  My mom still gets worried about me if I fall sick . I recollect getting mad at my mom cause she used to always come late for my open house in school, because she was busy trying to finish house work on Saturdays cause that was the only day she used to have an off. Today I am not able to reach places on time because I have to finish my house work. My sis and I had varied taste in food , so my mom used to end up making different dishes for both of us inspite of not having time .Today I know the difficulty in making food(forget the variety that my mom used to make )  when you have to juggle between work and home.

       Parents don’t do these things because they expect something in return or they want you to thank them for this. All that they want is the realization that there is a lot of effort involved in being a parent, in trying to be a perfect example for the children, in always watching their children so that they are in good company, and to see them settled in life . In the process they forget their lives, their happiness, their priorities…most of all their moments which they spend in being mom n dad when they wanted to be husband and wife and have some time for themselves. The important question is would I be able to match up to them , do what they did for me without cribbing, without thinking about me ,my career,…and most of all “MY LIFE” …the term that we youngsters have  a fixation to now a days.

      I don’t think I would thank my parents, I want to say to them that I realize and appreciate  the hard work, the time ,the love and sacrifice and patience that they have put into shaping up my life and making me what I am today , and I hope to be like them, for my child tomorrow..and If I can’t I know they will still be there for me to correct me when I go wrong…And I know I will listen to them this time.



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