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Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

The First Day of 2012….

  Woke up as usual to rush to work.I prefer working, on the first day, rather than lazing away inside the quilt covers.Reminiscing the splendid display of fireworks from Burj Khalifa, Dubai I wished myself HAPPY NEW YEAR.
      Getting back to the traditional ritual, of making resolutions, I have made mine too…in my heart, don’t intend to reveal it, so that I can conveniently, break it.
        Wishing, hoping and above all praying for everyone that they have a year full of satisfaction and content…..leaving their regrets behind…..ALL THE BEST

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I believe, there is no alloted or fixed time and place to pray. You just need, to have the inclination to do so. But over the years, I have realized that my prayers, always include something, that I WANT. I have, never said a prayer, where I have only THANKED. So does that make me a selfish, sinner or opportunist? I am, not one of those people who visits the church every Sunday, keep myself awake throughout the priest’s sermon, nor do I even observe the 40 day fast before Easter. I am not, the one who observes, all the commandments set by God.  So, am I entitled, to ask from God or just be happy with what I have been given?

   ” Ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened unto you.” And so we ask…….so very human

     We usually resort to God when nothing else works….as if he is the last option.Why not the first?   

    I have heard people saying, that I am fasting, to please God because I want something. There are some, who say 100 Mother Mary’s and Our Father to get something. So we have resorted to the BRIBE option.

    Recently, amidst one of my most desperate moments, wherein I thought things are not gona work out, someone advised me to just think of the Almighty, before you do anything,have the faith and it will be done.  We do set out with faith but there are moments when we question that faith doubt it. But its a relief to know, that there is someone,  above, up who is trying much harder for us, than ourselves too.

   God and I, have always had a close relationship. He has always, got me out of situations that, I thought was just irreversible. He has always, given me what, I have asked for.There are times, when he has not also. I know, he is always watching over me. But, does that make me take him for granted? We take each other for granted , so why not.Thats the reason, I keep asking , demanding  & wanting.Wonder, where is all this gona end? Will I, ever be content and pray that ”I think you have done enough for me.”

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Happen to learn, about the death, of one of my acquaintances today. He passed away, in a road traffic accident. He was due, to go to India for his daughter’s wedding, next week. I didn’t know him all that well. But his sudden tragic death, taught me as to how unexpected life can be.

  We all struggle everyday, to make a living, plan our life, dream for our children, strive to make their lives better..but amidst all this we never ponder, even for a minute, that may be, just may be, we may cease to exist tomorrow. I am not hinting, that we need to be terrified all the time. But nothing, matters in the end. How rich you were, how many friends you hand, what were your accomplishments in life….nothing matters. Its just you sans everything. No one will ever trade, that spot with you. No one would want to. 

   We always keep wanting, more and more. After all we are humans. The more you have, the more you want.There is no end to our desires. As if, life, is obliged to give you all the things, that you desire. On the other hand, we also earn it with our hard work. But in the due course ,you start taking life for granted. Ask a person, who has just lost somebody , they would be ready to trade anything, all the luxuries in life to just have one more moment with them.

    So be thankful, that you are able to breathe, this very moment, while you are reading this. Even if you are having a bad day, thank God that you are atleast, alive to see the bad day. Life always has its own ways, to jolt you, when it realizes that you need a wakeup call.

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Wish to see the world around…want to pursue my hobby seriously…need to lose some weight…wish to plan a special day with your partner…but I don’t have the time. Must have heard so many quoting this.

   Held up with work, financial issues, health problems, common excuses….yes I would call them excuses. They say, nothing is impossible in this world. All that matters, is your approach and how desperately you want to get it done.You really can’t predict, what would happen tomorrow. I am amazed, at people who surprise themselves everyday. Does it make sense, to go on putting aside the things that would really make you happy and content.

    Many, may not agree with this thought process. Elders often advise, to save money for your old age. So you save money and when do you think you are gona fulfill your wishes..when you get bedridden and regret ‘ I wish I had done it then.’Then you come out with a pathetic list of ‘Things to do before I die’  types.

  Explore, live on the edge a little, and embrace new challenges. Imagine your life to be a movie. How would you want it to be? Predictable, boring,routine,regretful  OR  Exciting, full of life n zest and satisfied in the end so that you would exclaim ‘ WOW.”

  I am 31 today. Not clear about what I accomplished in life, but definitely clear, as to all those things that I want to do. Think of doing something new everyday, but lose the focus as the day goes by. But what I forget, is so is my time on earth. Just waiting for that one push, one motivation, one flash thought to get me going. Hope it happens soon, or I will also soon join the category of CAME…SAW…& PASSED AWAY ( NOT CONQUERED).

   So for starters, desperate to lose some weight, hold on, Venice,….Rome…Hmmm

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DELETE!

Overheard a friend exclaiming, as she was distraught with certain personal issues ( don’t know what I prefer not to probe unless told upfront) ‘ I just want to DELETE  unwanted people in my life.’

     WOW! What a word, simple…push a key n everything gone. Imagine, if we could delete bad memories,..relationships gone sour,….selfish people,…mean friends,….Hitlers in our workplace,…fights we wish we never had,….decisions which changed the course of our lives…the list never ends.

    Easier said than done. Its like a fairy tale, thats never gona happen. So, what do we do after we have made our statements, voiced our opinions.Go with the flow. Its easy. Try swimming against the current of waves, its always difficult. Slightly change the direction and you reach your destination. You can’t expect, others to be good to you just because you are good to them. Stick to your principles.You can’t change the whole world.

     The fact of life is CHANGE….thats an ongoing process. People change over a period of time.Their priorities change, the way they think, they way they live.You can’t hold that against them.

    As far as unwanted situations, or people in your life are concerned, they all teach you something.Take the lesson and leave the people,  if they are not worth your time and friendship.

    If everything could just be DELETED whats the fun….thats why, there is always an option to EDIT. It requires SELECT,…COPY….n PASTE. But it will make you more satisfied at the end. I advise using that key more.

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Staring at the mirror and praying in my heart that, I hope I don’t break out with acne tomorrow morning, hoping that my eyes are perfect,  without the dark circles, hoping that I weigh some grams less than what I weighed today, hoping that I don’t have  a bad hair day ,hoping that wrinkles show up one day later…so on & so forth. All this so that I look perfect.

     Some days, I just want to withdraw myself into a shell & just become invisible. I don’t want to be chirpy, and full of positivity. I just don’t want to leave my bed..or wake up, cos it brings life, as it is, face to face with me. I want to run away from my troubles….I just don’t want to fight them anymore. I just want to keep my cell switched off, for one whole day without being worried about, the sms’s or the calls that I may miss.

I just want to cease, being the agony aunt for everyone, and tell them to  solve their problems on their own. I just don’t want to talk to anyone and want to be myself sometimes.

But people around me just don’t let me be. The moment I decide to do something, like this, I will have  a swarm of people around me, asking me” What happened?”  I don’t know myself or else I don’t want to tell you. Then I realize, its better to go back to square one rather than letting others think, that I hold an attention seeking behaviour.

But it makes me wonder, whether I have  a dual personality.Whether I would ever get to just switch off myself even if it is for  a few seconds. How long will I be able to do this. I am not in depression…thats not what it is. Just want to be me for once.

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I love the winters….

The perfect time to laze & get cozy. Days are shorter & nights are longer so you work less and sleep more…yipee, just what you need.  Tons & tons of gratitude to the Almighty for creating this season. I really can’t tolerate the summers.

    Take the free tip girls…The very reason, I chose to get married in the month of December is, your makeup stays intact and you don’t sweat….also less expenses, no AC hall required. 

   Jokes apart…the perfect season to have adventurous trips. Most of the honeymoon trips are planned around this time.

    There is a privacy about it, that no other season gives you. The silence, that you can experience on a chilly winter night, cannot be expressed in words. Cuddling up in a quilt,with your stockings on and a  hot cup of cocoa gives you the feeling that you are home.

   If you happen to be in a country where it snows, you  see snowladen trees & mountain peaks and all that you can say is WOW. Ever looked at the sky in the evenings during winters its beautiful.

   For me its festival time…Its Christmas! Trying to fit into new clothes( yea…your hunger is insatiable in winters), decorating the house, putting up the Christmas tree, making goodies ( my mom used to bake awesome cakes at home…I just place an order for them) …its fun and frolic time.

    The perfect setup, to host a new years party.People are generally at ease and laid back in the winters. May be they are exhausted , after the running around, that they do the whole year around .

   As I am in the deserts, this year I am treating myself to loads n load,s of barbecque parties. Apart from the food ( which is hard core spicy marinated Non-veg) , the aroma of charcoal burning, the ambience, the thrill of outdoor rustic cooking is great.

    But what I miss the most this winter is just being home,with my family cos winters & Christmas, is all about being together, with the ones that you love…

 

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      We plan our daily schedule, work meticulously to achieve status & certain goals in life, struggle throughout our youth so that we are self-dependant, when we go grey and  wrinkled. Everything planned well in advance. Picture perfect. No place for errors. But did God preplan and design our destiny , sign and stamp his seal, even before we took our first breath.

    They say ‘ Man proposes and God disposes’…so if everything is already decided why struggle. Lazy parasites live by this rule.When things fail to go our way, we get disappointed and start holding others responsible for it.We don’t even spare God then. But we never analyze our self.

      We plan a wonderful holiday, and it turns around at the last minute.We all wish to have  a fairy tale marriage, but it turns out to be a soap opera with twists & turns.We all check out our zodiac predictions, first thing in the newspaper. Uncertainities in life always catches you unaware. In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would have to make an ISD call,  to just say ‘Hi’ to Steph.  2011 was full of surprises right from the time the year began. In a span of few months my life changed. I flew abroad for work. Staying apart was destiny, but trying to see the positive side of the whole crisis was upto us. Its like finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

      God has his own unique ways.He just shows you the route, to your destiny in signs, that you can’t imagine.We just need to keep our ears & eyes open ,and change the way we look at opportunities. According to me, if things don’t end well ,then it has still not ended. If your life has fallen to pieces, because of someone or some incident, you end up jobless, someone you love left you alonepick up those pieces and get on with what you have.Your superiors may find faults in your work everyday, so what, improvise, improvise more.They would definitely praise you one day, and that moment would be your moment..your hard earned moment.

    You have options.  You can either continue to be miserable, or you can just stop being angry at everyone and accept the way things are.  Allow yourself to live.There must be a reason, for the way you are.You have choices…but its upto you to decide & it is the most difficult thing to do. In the end there is a supernatural power, that works with you,  that looks after you, who has decided how much is just enough for you…your sorrows,your smiles, your tears. Its God’s way of showing ‘ I am still in control…I hold your strings’


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      A Baby again….. I would love to talk in monosyllables, rather than giving paragraph explanations to others . I would love to have my food spilling it ,all over me without getting bothered about , how the hell am I gona get the mess cleaned.

      I would have my uninterrupted 10 hr beauty sleep, without the hassles of having to go to work the next day. I could behave the way I want, without having to say sorry for it later. I would love to be pampered, and loved by everyone without having to try to be loved .

     I would love to be the most photographed person, again…with every expression of mine being captured. I would love to smile and get all excited, when I see a butterfly or a rose. I would love be completely aloof of all the worldly sorrows & troubles ..and be happy in my own little world,with my toys and colors.

    I would love to eat all and everything, that I want without worrying about putting on weight.

       Moreover I would just love to live my life again

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     I was clueless as to what do I blog about , when I came across someone who was distraught with the fact that he is always misunderstood. I think we all can relate to this. In general, we all are good people.We don’t intentionally want to hurt or humiliate others. But it all depends on how the other person takes what you say….which you certainly cannot control. It is important to have the same wavelength. Easier said than done. If things were so simple, we would have seen smiling faces everywhere. Friendships have been lost, marriages have been broken…all just because it was just a misunderstanding. It is very painful, to be misunderstood especially when all that you mean is well.

         I have been always misunderstood to be an arrogant  person. I think I was to be blamed for that cos I didn’t want people to take advantage of me or take me for granted.But then I realized, it was not getting me anywhere. I had to get out , transform myself to be the person that I am today. I still do react in weird ways in certain situations, but what I hear today is ” She doesn’t mean that.” They forgive and forget…they understand me. Its taken a lot of self analysis to reach there.

        We often feel only if he/she realized that I meant good. It is important to express oneself in the right words. Say what you feel, in the same words that you feel. Don’t try to beat around the bush. It just  makes things complicated. Clarify matters when you have the chance to do so rather, than fretting over it later. You will always be appreciated for that. Don’t wait for someone to come and ask you . Make an effort from your end. You will  find the next time a situation arises, things will be much easier to handle cos, you will always get the benefit of doubt. Something that holds us back from doing this, is our own personal ego. We all pretend that we are very humble and down to earth ,its only when crisis hits you that we know who’s who. What is the use of carrying the ego around, when all the people that mattered to you the most desert you and you are left all alone.

      People who are misunderstood always have  a wall created around them. You need to break that to get across people. Be approachable. And when you have people who love you inspite of all your shortcomings, it is easy. And if they don’t they are not worth losing your sleep over.

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