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Why do I blog?

    Coz I was getting bored.Trust me, it was this very reason ,why I signed myself in for this.Started to pen down my thoughts as if, I was writing a diary. Then my friends started following  them. Tell me one human being, in the universe who dislikes being praised .So like any other self obsessed person, I took the compliments seriously.
       I was always an avid reader, scribbling was never my forte. As my number of blogs started increasing, so did my fans.They started relating to them. I had voiced, their inner thoughts with my words.They got a neutral point of view .Its a human tendency, one feels good when you realise that the turmoil, that you go through is what everyone goes through.We don’t say it out loud. My blogs said it for them.
     Keep reading guys….cos it keeps me going.Who doesn’t like having fans.
    But my most precious fan is my husband…its not everyday that your hubby praises you.

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Tied down with severe gastritis last week. 7 days of agony. Not just the pain, but it turned my whole routine topsy turvy. I am quite pain intolerant, one of the laziest person to consume timely medication. So, when I was out of the whole syndrome of being unwell, the first thing I quote off late when I meet people is, ” Anything but the pain of gastritis”.
      Thats the same thing I say, when I have a migraine or dental issues.  I am not writing all this to qualify, as a big time cry baby or a cribber. Its that, we don’t seem to bother about all this, when we are hale n hearty.
       That takes me to the people who are chronically ill, bedridden…or ailments that would be with them for years to come. Theres no need to sympathise with them. Your sympathy, is not gona improve their state but make them feel more lousy.
      Thank God and your stars that you are healthy. Don’t neglect your health with the “chalta hain” attitude.That also doesn’t mean , that you go bonkers with the fear of falling ill. Remember, nobody can look after you the way, you can look after your own.

       A colleague once told me ” Learn to respect your age when its time”

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A typical scene, in my OPD most of the days..One of my staff or colleagues barging in my room. ‘R you free?’ Its either about some personal issues, somebody at work torturing them, or just something random. And its me nodding my head, and they pour their heart out.It definitely is a feel good factor,that I am able to do that for them.
      But it makes me wonder, what is it that makes us, run to strangers, with our problems and not our own close ones. I mean I hardly know them, and I still know all their troubles, maybe even more than anyone close to them.What are we hesitant about? Are we apprehensive about the fact, that we are going to be judged, or we don’t want to expose our vulnerable side.How right am I gona be about the advice I give? I don’t know.So I don’t give any.I just try, to show them the other side, of a situation which they are often unaware about.
       What I gauged,from all this is that most of the time all of them just want to be heard, without any retaliation.We all need a punching bag. Its better to punch a stranger, instead of punching someone you know and end up feeling pathetic Why would I continue to be an Agony Aunt? Makes me realize the strength, that God has gifted me to remain unaffected by the identical dituations that I often face in my life.

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Compromising….

  Desperate moments and situations that life puts you through makes one to take compromising decisions. It would feel apt at that time, but would it feel the same 10 years down the line?There is always that one doubt, at the back of your mind.Be it finding a life partner, choosing between job offers, your financial investments. We are just never sure,cos we happen to have too many options.Is that good? More options, more dilemas. And when we don’t have them, its a compromise. We would never know that, cos we can’t predict the future. Thats not our job.He’s already done it for us.

           Some believe in living in the present, and not worry about the future. Some practise otherwise.So you would definitely have 2 schools of thought here.I feel if you have the confidence and the guts to say ” I made the right decision” 10 years down the line……no decision is wrong.
       Can’t crib or fret much about the hassles that we face in our day to day lives,cos…YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW

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ood things always come to an end…very true. Steph’s vacation will finally end ,in Sohar in a few days and he will be back ,to the hustling, bustling race in Mumbai. I am gona miss him; more than him may be my lifestyle ,which was back on track, at least for a few days. I will be  back to my routine also.

Whats worth pondering, is why don’t good things they last forever?  Imagine if we always had only good, happy moments in life all the time? That would definitely be a stress free, content life. That would make us happy too. But, would we actually value them? The answer would be negative. We celebrate occasions, try to capture them in pictures, freak out on our vacations cos, we never know, when we would get a chance, to replay them again.We make it a point to recollect these memories, once in a while and smile. If these moments would happen everyday, there would be no need to recollect them. They would cease, to be that precious.

  I always make it a point, that I have a look at my wedding album, once in a month. Apart from the fact, that it reminds me as to how thin, I was on my wedding day, I run the whole wedding day ,in my mind from start to end. It reminds,me of all the special people ,who attended my wedding,….of all the new additions that I have in my life today….more over it makes me smile.

Relive the happy moments, talk about them, take pictures whenever you get a chance, moreover value them…It could be a small thing as your rasgullas turning perfect, your baby taking his first step, the rose in your garden that bloomed, your husband finally remembering your birthday.They may not last forever; but they will always be a part of  your memories. Memories are priceless, the more you have, the richer you get.

Stephen just added to mine, with his vacation here.We will surely talk about it some day. Will miss him.

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When the adjustments that you make, are taken for granted its time to put being  MISS GOODY, GOODY in the closet.. Don’t worry that others would stop perceiving you, as an accommodating personeverybody needs a wakeup call once in a while.

     No one likes to be termed as a pest, be it work or home or your society for that matter. If you are content with the adjustments, that you make..whether it is taking a prank on you sportingly, or going along with a comment made on your physical appearance, its still okay. But when you end up feeling sore, about it its time, to put your foot down.

     Voice your opinion, be assertive, yet diplomatic. Let the people know what you feel. There is no point, in making them feel that you are upset with them ,without letting them know why. Its true, you can’t command or demand respect, but atleast you can make sure that, at the end of the day you are able to respect yourself.

     The only way to stop being taken for granted, is to realize your worth more than that. Put your foot down to ‘say no’ should the need arise. Have your own set of rules and keep your self respect intact, always. Don’t change, just because people around you want you to change. Run an analysis on yourself too. Are you projecting yourself in a wrong way, or sending a wrong signal across. People treat you, how you teach them to treat you.

    This is not just an advise, something that I have realized off late at my work place. I have decided to put my foot down. Trust me it feels so good …

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Smile……its free

Imagine a situation…. You waiting in a lounge at the airport or at an office. A person comes, and stations himself opposite you. You exchange glances, and the first thing thats hits your brain is, should I smile or no? So after all the unrequired permutations and combinations, you chose either to smile or to stay expressionless.When you do smile, you get one in return & when you decide to sit with a straight face, you get the same in return. At the end of it you end up feeling, I should have just smiled.

   Have you ever noticed, a new born baby.The baby,  often has a lot of visitors with the weirdest of faces.But he/she always would return you a smile, if you do. Point to be noted here is that…the baby doesn’t know you.

   When you enter an aircraft, a smiling cabin crew welcomes you, and just like that a boring, lonely journey becomes something that you look forward to.

       Stare at the mirror, what do you see just a face….add a smile to it and what do you see a beautiful face.Thats what smile does to your face. It adds value, life, a characteristic,an attribute, a meaning to your face. A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.

     Coming from the cosmopolitan city of Mumbai, where everybody is conditioned to multitask, smile is a gesture exchanged only amongst known people.so obviously I too never did that on a daily basis. As a result of which I got famous, as being a Khadoos, arrogant, strong headed person. Its only when I got into my practice of being a Dermatologist, that I realized how important it was for me, to share that warm, positive vibe with my patients, that came across, just with the simple act of adding a smile to my expression.

     You don’t need to have the perfect, Aishwarya Rai or Lara Dutta set of teeth, or the perfectly angled curve of lips to have a perfect smile. A pathetic day at work, could be a easy walk when you smile….cos just the act, would generate a positive aura around you, which could spread like a jungle fire.You are perceived as an approachable individual. Everybody loves to see a happy face. In rare occasions it gets people wondering whats up with her?  Even the message/scrap/post with smileys in your facebook or hotmail, catches your attention faster. Its a universal language, that is universally understood. Smiling is one exercise, that can put all your facial muscles into action…no need to pay for that Yoga.

    Some say, you need to look beyond the smile, to know a person…..someone who smiles a lot, is the saddest.  Life is too short to analyze all these things.Its better to wear a sad smile than not to smile at all.

      Moreover Smile…cos its free, trust me it is,and if you don’t try it for yourself.

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Ever find your friend /relative/ colleague in distress, the first thing that you say to comfort them is ” I completely understand how you feel.” This is a phrase, used repeatedly over and over again. But do you really understand it. You may connect with the person, with the situation but you would never be able to mimic, the emotional turmoil.

Expressing sympathy, is one aspect and making a mockery out of it in an invisible manner, is another. Every one choses to emote in a different way. The person going through the rough patch, only knows the intensity of it. You being a third person, would never be able to gauge it. ” I understand what you are going through”…This statement makes you, the hero, and people who are closely associated with the person in distress, villians. This in itself is adding fuel to fire, cos thats when comparisons begin.

How can a happily married couple, understand what a couple going through divorce experiences? How can someone who splurges money, know what it is to live from a hand to mouth existence? Expressing condolences at a funeral….how would you know how important the person who passed away, meant to the family. Again when two people in a identical situation get talking about, nothing positive ever comes out of that. You become more sure that….Life is a drag

When you share this with another individual, they expect a solution out of you for the same. That when you put yourself in an awkward position. We never give an advice, that we are 100% sure about. Your advice, when given in the heat of the moment, could have unseen repercussions.

I have witnessed married women, giving advice to each other on marital and inlaw issues. As a result of that, when things go out of control, they just put their hands up, and say “I just said what I felt…following it was completely her decision.”

All you need to restrict yourself to is, just listen. Sometimes thats all what people need…somebody who would just listen to them. My personal opinion is, man’s problems are all self created, because we like to live with complications. If you know how to create them ,you definitely know how to get out of them. Its a matter of self-realization.

So next time please don’t quote it , cos you & your inner conscience know that you didn’t mean it…cos the moment you get back to the cococon of your own life you forget about them.

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      Just back from a short vacation to Mumbai. It was fun, to be back in the hustle bustle of the city that never sleeps.Visited quite a few new malls.One thing, that never fails to surprise me is, irrespective of the number of malls that keep springing up, there are always enough people to fill them up.

    So on one of my sprinting visits to a mall, I happened to notice a peculiar thing, which I did notice several times prior too but it never bothered me before, as it did that moment. Possibly, cos I am writing a blog now and constantly in pursuit of a topic to blog upon.

    A couple in their 20’s, hubby walking a mile ahead from the wifey. I glanced around and saw many more like that.I found the husband walking a few steps, waiting for his wife to gallop along, then he would  take off again.

    We seem to have forgotten the importance of holding hands & walking together .We did hold hands, when we got married no matter what religion,  we belong to, when we dated …. but grew out of it with time.

    I still remember my wedding. Steph never left my hand, even for  a single minute when we were together.Every picture of the wedding had him holding my hand in that.He still does after all this years.

     Holding hands is the most simple,asexual, romantic gesture. Some people might think, that if they are seen holding hands with their significant other, they might be looked at as too  dependent. Holding hands on a regular basis, will make you more comfortable with each other, soothe your mood during stressful times, and is a great way to show the world how proud  you are to be with your special someone.

    In the early days of budding romance, holding your partners hands must have sent chills down your spine. Today we see them holding their cellphones. If you don’t hold hands while you are together its high time you do. It will always bring back old nostalgic memories back and add  a new flavour to your relationship. Holding hands, smiling at each other, even when you just pass across each other from one room to another, an occasional peck on the cheek for no particular reason, are all simple gestures but they always denote how well connected you are.

      Scientists have also proven that holding hands reduces stress, and eases away pain, release pheromones.

Personally I feel it never goes out of style…


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What happens, when the honeymoon is finally over?

     Life happens to you in ways that you never fathomed. Thats when you put your “Compatibility” , ” Chemistry”, “Rapport”…whatever you want to tag it to test.

      When you have to wake up, to the snooze of the alarm under your ear, instead of the ” I Love you Baby”…..when you have to adhere to the deadline, of putting up a  3 course breakfast on the dining, instead of brunches in bed,….when you see your partner just rushing out through the door, instead of waiting to hear you say “Have a nice day.”…..when your trips to the malls, is shopping for grocery, instead of  designer wears, thats when your mind starts Formula 1 racing.

     When your anniversaries, no longer hold the excitement of  surprise gifts, but predictable flowers…its boring.

     When you start keeping cash aside, to pay off the bills , and there is no SHOPPING or VACATION in the list, you wonder what the heck.

       When the quality time is being spent by him watching ESPN, & you washing dishes, you wonder is this what God meant by ” For better or Worse”

   There are always two ways to look at things, one wherein you conceptualize yourself to be the victim and another wherein, you try to make sense of the situation that made you think that way in the first place.

    We invaribly choose the first one.We all do . I have done it on several occasions my self. 

   So what do you do then…think for yourself, till I come up with something

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